People were sending virtual hugs and advice on how to still “celebrate” my mom, even though she was no longer alive. A few comments succeeded in making me feel guilty because I have kids of my own and they should have the chance to celebrate my being their mom.
Truth is I don’t need a celebration.
Motherhood wasn't a given for me. After a cancer diagnosis at a young age I never thought having my own children was possible. I had even convinced myself I didn't want them, I think, as a way to shield myself from disappointment. Blessedly today I have one biological child and one adopted child. Neither came easily and I fiercely protect and celebrate those two gifts each and every day- even when they get a bad grade or forget to clean their messes- although I have to remind myself during those times!
I don’t need a Hallmark holiday to be reminded what a gift it is to be a mom or what a gift having my mom for a mother was to me. I was and I am blessed.
But still the commenters tried to convince me the importance of the day.
Is it important to celebrate those you love on one single day of the year (re: Valentine’s Day/Mother-Father’s Day) or every single day of the year?
I think that celebrating every day is much better than needlessly isolating people that one day out of the year.
People who are grieving the loss of their mother’s feel their grief a little harder on Mother’s Day. Women who can’t be mothers for physical and financial reasons feel less-than a woman on this day. And people who had poor mothers in their lives either have to pretend on this day or ignore this day, either action making them feel the weight of having been raised by a bad mother and the consequences resulting from that. I even read a blog a few days ago where a woman wrote that she stayed home from church services on Mother’s Day Sunday because mother’s were asked to stand up and be acknowledge and that act made her, someone who could not be a mother, feel extremely small.
So, to Mother’s Day or not to Mother’s Day- that is the question.
The answer? Do whatever makes your heart warm.
Some people celebrate mother figures on this day. Some single fathers receive a card on this day for being both “mom and dad”.
Do whatever makes you happy on these types of days without isolating others.
But be empathetic to the feelings of others who don’t want to celebrate or even acknowledge these holidays.
And to all those great mom’s out there- this is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQ4Rnba85o8&feature=youtu.be