That’s a lot of work. Thanks now to the Time Hop app, I can see that I am busy this time of year- every single year. So the good news is that I survived! Ha!
Its Sunday morning in a quiet airport in Columbus Ohio and I’m using this time to catch up on emails and online correspondence. I submitted 2 articles. Sent some thank you notes to the speakers that I had at yesterday’s conference and finally- finally have a moment to blog.
I’m tired. I’m so tired that it permeates from my toes up to my eyebrows. My calves and shoulders hurt. My neck is stiff and sore. My head feels like it’s in a vise and my vision is blurry…no doubt from exhaustion or allergies or high glucose, or all of the above.
There is such irony in that the conference that I planned yesterday had a heavy focus on the benefits of nutrition and exercise, taking care of yourself and your survivorship, quality of life and living with intention…
Am I doing that? I am so engulfed in my career and the caring of other people. My work is important and fulfilling and it matters. I mean, I’m not selling something or processing something or paper pushing…I get to be amazing and do amazing things… I get to inspire people and change lives and help someone's quality of life-- but I’m also not taking enough time to take care of myself.
Last Monday I went for my 6 month MRI. The liver tumors are stable, but I have stage 4 disease- what does that mean? Well, the specialist used the analogy of a car with 100,000 miles on it. Either a car like that dies, or with proper maintenance and care- it will continue to drive. That’s my liver…a 100,000 mile wreck thanks to poor genetics. The good news is that the 25% of liver that functions is functioning well! I have worked to get everything else in check and under control- for now. There is no guarantee how long that will be for. And there is no cure. If that isn't a wake up call- not sure what is. Oh and I didn't qualify for the ONE clinical trial that is available for me...why? My disease is too advanced. Shoot.
This weekend was my last conference to plan for the year. I still have a couple of trips for work, but nothing that will leave my body exhausted and in pain.
Now, I have to dedicate and direct all the things I’m good at back at me- my happiness, my health and my mindfulness. It’ time for me to take care of me, because there isn’t anyone else who will.
Cue the flight attendant now "Ladies and gentlemen, in case of emergency, please place the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others."