I've missed him every day.
Unlike many of my family members who have moved on with their lives- my life changed drastically when he died. My career changed, my mission and calling I found out, was supporting cancer patients.
Because of my job and that calling, I think about my dad each and everyday. Every patient reminds me of him and our experience. The year that he lived with and fought lung cancer is always fresh in my mind- as is his absence.
I'm not actively grieving after 15 years. My grief lives with me comfortably, like an empty recliner. It just is. It's a sadness over what could have been and all the shared experiences lost.
What has helped me cope over the years is seeing the progress we have made through lung cancer research. I'm a small part of that- in my dad's memory. We've a long way to go to create a world with more survivors; a world where no one dies from lung cancer. So in his memory- we must continue the work.
Cheers daddy. Look what you started in me.
Jessee Dewey RIP: Sept 6, 2003